Being a woman of a certain age, and living in an area that has been unkindly referred to as the shallow end of the gene pool, starting to re-enter the world of dating has been … interesting, to say the least.
Once it became known that I was going to come out of my self-imposed exile and was indeed willing to rejoin the land of the living the reaction was immediate.
Several friends had “friends” that they just knew were absolutely right for me. Or brothers. Or fathers. Or ex-husbands.
One was even a “please marry my husband once I am dead”.
Caveats included “Don’t worry about his hoarding tendencies” and “He is a bit odd and lives with his parents, but don’t let that stop you” and “All we have to do is get rid of my stepmother and you are in the clear.”
But most of the suggestions were actually living breathing available decent type men who were definitely worth a second look.
I even had a few folks that I came up with on my own through one source or another. And have been spending time with a few since this spring, actually.
But in the course of talking to one of the more promising “date my friend” folks, I was told that he had a profile out on one of the online dating sites. One that was quite … insightful.
It is, like all the others, a site in which you sign up (I did), fill out a profile (I did), post a picture (I did not). But in the case of this site you answer a few multiple choice questions of your own choosing.
The catch is that you cannot see the answers another person gave until you also answer that question by picking one of the multiple choices. And you do the answering not knowing what anyone else may have said one way or the other. Clarifying comments are allowed.
Some of the questions were quite tame. “If you turn a left-handed glove inside out, what hand does it fit on?” (Right) and “What does wherefore art thou Romeo mean?”
Some of them are quite personal indeed. And no, I will not enumerate. But if the question is “Are you an ax murderer” you might want to answer the question just to know.
And what those poor axes did to deserve murdering I’ll never know.
But I did answer a lot of the questions in order to see what this possible partner / playmate might have said.
In that case I was pleasantly astounded to see that he had answered the questions in much the same way as I had … often with identical witty comments to go with the question. Even some of the “nobody will answer like I will on this one” questions. And I knew it wasn’t him answering so as to match me … because he went first.
It proclaimed him a 96% match along with a few other things. Quite promising indeed.
Then another “please date my friend” person heard about it, and went out to sign up … to see what I might have said. That produced a 90% match.
My friends appeared to know what I liked in a man.
My half-hearted profile without a picture or much of a profile but with a lot of answers has remained out there for the last three or four months. With not much interest. After all, who wants to take a chance on a person for whom there is no picture and very little profile?
I have met and not met … dated and not dated … and started to step once more into the land of the living. But nothing serious yet.
So I decided that … come the New Year … next year … I would make a more honest effort to find a companion … a playmate so to speak … without expecting it to lead to a happily ever after, but giving it at least an honest chance to be something.
Flash forward to last night.
As in last night with nothing to do, nobody to chat with, and no energy to do much except sit around and vegetate.
So while sitting around here last night waiting for the start of the latest snowstorm, I decided to do a new profile on that same dating site …with the intention of kicking it into high gear … Next Year.
I went out to sign up (I did), fill out a profile (I did), post a picture (I did). But I did not answer any of the interesting questions.
The picture was one I had taken using my laptop one night a few weeks ago. I had been chatting online and the icon that day … JFK I believe … was a bit distracting. So I took a quick webcam headshot then and posted it that night.
It wasn’t the best nor the worst image and it served the purpose to hold a place and allow me to get started on this new fresh account.
And I spent a little time answering … really answering … the questions for the profile. The nice thing being that you can weed out people up front before they ever get to the dating stage. Why waste time? Right?
I started with this:
OK, I’m done grieving … I’m tired of sitting around … and I want to laugh again. If you are looking for a woman with a quick wit, and easy smile and a liberal outlook on life, you’ve come to the right place.
That’s a good start, no?
Then later on I said this:
First … I don’t watch TV. Except for Person of Interest which I record, and the occasional Rachel Maddow or Jon Stewart show. I also binge watched Downton Abbey last year.
Second … I’m not into horror flicks or NASCAR or 24/7 Sports or rap music or whiney country and western music or opera or right-wing conservative politics.
So if you have a penchant for eternal left turns or ax murders or Tammy Wynette or endless Housewives of Whocares or right-wing talk radio, then do us both a favor … please move along and forget you ever saw this.
Can’t get much more straight forward than that, right?
I fleshed it out with my likes, preferences and idle thoughts. A pretty good effort all around I’d say. Weeding out the faint of heart, and allowing that at this age I was neither a push-over nor dead.
And I set it aside thinking I would get back to it next year with the answers to some of the questions.
Let’s just say I have been getting HOARDS of responses.
One, a man from Ireland, wanted to chat on Skype so he could hear my accent. Now wait, isn’t he the one with the accent?
And there are many men my age or thereabouts, in the relatively close geographical area (within 250 miles or so) who are interested in our getting to know each other better. A few that will probably deserve a second look. Next year.
But the very funny part of it all … was the young men. I mean, I put a picture out there. I said I was over 60. I was as honest as I could be.
Tons of young … healthy … men, interested in my mind, I am sure.
A couple of “have you been with a younger man?” (yes) “Are you interested in meeting me?” (no). But give them credit … they are enthusiastic and not bad looking. Interesting.
They are, however, younger than my youngest daughter. It’s downright creepy.
And if memory serves me correctly, men that age are indeed capable of doing an impression of the Energizer Bunny. They just keep going and going and going.
They just don’t have a clue where they are going or how to get there.
But one young man (24 yo, Canada) just chatted quite insistently … saying he really, really wanted to be with an older woman just like me.
Seemed genuinely sincere, right? And who am I to question or try to change the preferences of anyone.
So I assured him that there were women far younger than me who were exactly like me … and suggested that a 40 year old might be a more appropriate “old” for him. Then I wished him well in his pursuits of an older woman.
“But I want to be with an old, old woman”.
Oh. Hold me back.
Like I said … no clue.
Some are sicker than others.
It’s going to be an interesting 2014.