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Lobsters

Lobsters (Photo credit: Foomandoonian)

… also known as … Homemade Lobster Bisque … Part II … as opposed to yesterdays Homemade Lobster Bisque … Part I.

And might I add that Part I … where I ate the lobster for dinner last night to get the stock ingredients ready for today … was infinitely more fun … and edible?

But today the project du jour was to make the creamy concoction look-alike … Lobster / Crab Bisque.

At least that was the plan.

The ingredients were there. And a wonderful mental image of the finished product was there in my mind. What could possibly go wrong?

Reason Number 1 –

That whole Onion choppy thing. Where your hands and the onion and a very sharp knife go at breakneck speed … the result being a wonderous stack of perfectly minced onions for whatever dish you are preparing.

Unless you are me.

In which case my fingers, one onion and any very sharp object are probably not the best idea of the day.

It didn’t help that I had to do scallions too.

Reason Number 2 –

The Blender.

Or more specifically the lid of The Blender. Well, most specifically the fact that if you do not put the lid to the blender on completely, the stock / meat / whatever mixture flies out of the top of blender and all over the counter.

Until you hit buttons in a panick-stricken way, shout out a few choice expletive deleteds and stop the blender.

Oh yes. I did.

Reason Number 3 –

Directions.

I had written their suggestions on the back of the supermarket receipt yesterday. In black marker. That was almost legible today.

Well, I read them yesterday … and I had all the ingredients more or less. Except I was pretty sure that the restaurant used fake crab meat and I had the real deal here.

How important could it be to follow the ingredients and the order and everything exactly? I mean, soup making is more of an art than a science anyway.

She rationalized.

Reason Number 4 –

Patience. As in I want patience and I want it now.

I should have guessed back in my childhood … when I had to stand in front of a pot of white sauce … endlessly stirring it for my Mom … that I shouldn’t attempt things that required that skill.

And when there is Wondra … and a blender … who needs patience?

Reason Number 5 –

Nibbling.

For whatever reason, the mental image of Julia Child … The French Chef … pops to my mind.

I mean don’t all Chef’s taste as they go? Could it throw the delicate balance off that terribly much?

And lord knows, Julia did a whole lot of balancing with the cooking Sherry … as in one for the pot, one for Julia. I mean, how sober could she have been when she did her Bouillabaisse? And her stuff came out OK, right?

It was about at this point in the whole mental process that the most wonderful aroma came wafting out from the Kitchen.

Yes, wafting.

As in What Is That Great Smell In My House?

And I went to the kitchen to see this …

DSCN1100[1] And the taste … it was wonderful.

Almost identical to the Lobster Bisque in the Restaurant … the Fake Crab Lobster Bisque that I have been buying a quart at a time.

It looked like it … and it tasted like it.

But I will still never be a chef.

Although I am pretty sure I know her secret ingredient.