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There is a web site called I Dream Of Clean … I dream of clean also, but since Betty Crocker, Martha Stewart and I share no common genes the chances are it will remain little more than a dream.

Since I am going out of town for a few days, so I thought it would be a good idea to read up around here. Read up. That’s Pennsylvania Dutch for clean up.

I’m not Pennsylvania Dutch.

But I’m always open to ideas. So what might be included on this hypothetical clean thing?

1. Shine Your Sink.

Okay. I don’t even shine my shoes. How would I go about shining my sink? Is there Sink Polish? I’ve never looked. For that matter, would I have to empty the sink in order to shine it? I’m thinking that might be the case. So really “Empty Your Sink” is a little more accurate for a first thing to do, don’t you think?

2. Wash One Load of Laundry Daily.

Ho Ho, that’s rich. I live alone right now. Between that and working at home … often in my “bunny slippers” and sweats … I’m lucky if I have one load of laundry a week, let alone a day.

Back when I was first on my own, I discovered the joy of getting close to laundry day (read: running out of Underwear) and outsmarting it.

This is done by shopping for more (read: clean new) underwear. As a result I have an almost obscene amount of various types of things worn under clothes.

3. Process Mail Immediately.

Now this one I do.

It typically consists of taking the junk mail and sales flyers … walking back to the house … and depositing it enthusiastically in the garbage can by my desk.

Invoices are sent electronically and paid online. And in the for what its worth department, I do Process Emails Almost Immediately. Facebook posts even more so.

4. Create a Command Center.

Now this one has me a little confused. They suggest “an area in your home that can be used as a catch-all for items that need to be processed (i.e. bills that need to be paid, cards to send out, etc.).”

Would that be my desk? Or my inbox of email? More like the little space to the right of my keyboard and the one to the left in front of the plant. Other than that, the desk is clear.

“also a place that can house items that need to be picked up quickly as you walk out the door like keys, bags, and phones.” Oh … well that would be the chair sitting at the bottom of the steps.

It’s close to the desk. Does that count?

5. Throw Away Trash.

And along with often not having one load of laundry a week, I’m lucky if I have one bag of garbage a week … sometimes created early on trash pickup day by running around the house emptying all the little garbage cans into one bag.

This is usually triggered if / when I hear my neighbor take out his trash. So taking the garbage cans to the curb for pickup often only happens once a month.

Except when I am overhauling a room in my house or something. In which case there is a ton of torn up rugs, flooring, trash and other construction materials out for pickup.

Fortunately I have a pretty flexible trash hauler.

6. Straighten Up Every Night.

Sorry. Not one of those folks that needs a clean sink every night. See point number one about Shiny Sinks.

I am still patting myself on the back that, now that I no longer live with a hoarder, I make my bed completely each morning, feed the Betta Fish, then make a cup of coffee or tea while loading (or unloading / loading) the dishwasher.

Saturdays are reserved for doing a quick 20 minutes of picking up around the house if needed. It is truly amazing how not living with a hoarder has made my house perpetually clean.

Thank goodness … see genetic lack referenced above.

7. Create a Cleaning Schedule.

Okay … I’ve stopped laughing. Thank goodness there is nobody around the station who can hear me.

I mentioned something sort of like a schedule above. But they recommend the following “Monday, mop and vacuum floors on Tuesday, dust on Wednesday, cut the yard on Thursday, and something else on Friday.”

Now you know why I laughed.

8. Become a Minimalist.

For those of you who have followed my year-long re-do of my house you know this to be the case. Check out anything in the Category – Home Improvement.

9. Do One Thing.

Not having anything to do with housework or a clean house, I was once told … in a particularly tragic time of my life … to make a list of three things in the morning. Then at the end of the day, check them off if you have done them.

It really helped.

10. Have a Junk Drawer.

I do.

Its called my Second Bedroom.

All thanks to the folks at I Dream of Clean for the list … even if it doesn’t exactly fit for me.