Usually a fable starts with “Once upon a time”. This one starts “Two weeks ago …”
Two weeks ago there was a hypothetical writer person who went for a nice little break at a nice little place on a nice little lake. She sat on the nice little porch of the nice little lake and looked out … hoping for some inspiration for her latest writing efforts.
But there was a problem. Not a real problem, you understand. After all this is a fable.
She was talking to someone else about a storyline. A Music Wanabee.
“Hello, luv” he said in his best faux Paul McCartney accent. “What can I do to help you?”
“I need to do some research on how to kill someone.” said The Writer.
“Your mug says you put people in books and kill them” said MW.
“Yeah, I’ve killed you five times already this morning” said TW.
Just then, a Local Guy walked by. “Hey mate,” said MW, “this lady here is looking for ways to kill someone.”
Strange looks from the Local Guy.
“For my book,” said TW “for my book. Not for real.”
“Well” said Local Guy, “I don’t know anything about killing people, but if you want to know about setting fires, I’m your guy.”
Well … no
I didn’t The Writer didn’t, but she asked anyway … for future reference.
“If you want to burn down a building … ” LG began, and proceeded to outline various
pyromaniacal creative ways to set a fire and not get caught. “And if you want to torch a car” he continued “just squirt the lighter fluid up under the dashboard and …” and taught Car Torch Basics.
Notes were taken.
“Who was that man?” asked TW as the LG disappeared down the road.
“He works at The Club … the one on the waterfront.” said MW.
Flash forward to yesterday. Our friend The Writer pulls into the area of the nice little place on the nice little lake … and saw … nice little fire trucks, police cars, and yellow tape.
Oh, and smoke. Lots and lots of smoke.
Around The Club … the one that used to be on the waterfront.
The news up there is that The Club about a hundred yards or less from the nice little place got torched the night before. Timing, you say? And The Writer thought to the man who, the weekend before last, gave intricate details on several ways to torch things and not get caught.
TW checked in to the nice little place, seeing people she knew, and did the old “Hi honey, I’m home! Anything exciting happen while I was gone?” and laughed. The Gal in the Lobby proceeded to fill TW in on some of the scoop.
TW told her about the conversation with the guy two weekends ago when she was there. She said “Oh that’s my boyfriend, Local Guy. He was with me when the fire was reported.”
TW turns around … and there is LG in all his glory … opening crackers and cheese for a late day snack in the lobby.
TW walks nervously up to LG and says “Hey LG, I guess I owe you an apology for what I was thinking. Ha ha ha.”
LG: “Why’s that?”
TW: “Remember our last conversation a week and a half ago?”
LG: “Well I didn’t do it.”
TW: “Yeah, she said you guys were together. But you can understand why it crossed my mind … what with you saying ‘you can burn this down this way’ and ‘you can burn that down that way’”
LG points out to the ruins and said “Yeah, but that wasn’t here.”
“So where was it?” TW thinks. And is that why the gal in the lobby had that momentary “Oh shit” look on her face before she counted backwards and said “Oh he was with me then.”
So I said “Well as long as nobody burns this place down … while I am here.”
Oh. And here are some pictures.
Before, During, and After.
For the Fable, of course.