… but you can see it from here.

I would like to say this is in honor of the upcoming end of the world … so say the Mayans.

Except that if you do the math, with leap years, and other stuff then it was maybe five years ago anyway.

No, this has more to do with where I am living … and a cartoon that made me laugh out loud.

I often say about where I live, that it is not the end of the world, but you can see it from here. From my front steps actually, if you lean far enough out.

Kind of like Sarah Palin seeing Russia from her back porch or something.

When I moved here in the mid-1970’s it was with the intention to put two years in the field with a large corporation … and move on … back to the big city and corporate life..

Ever hear the quote “We make plans … God laughs”?

Yeah, well.

Enter one marriage, three children, one divorce and lots and lots of years in between.

The first thing I noticed about this place is that there is no water. Well, no rivers downtown … or beaches within driving distance … or oceans out any windows. Although there is a lake somewhere that is far, far out in the middle of nowhere … even more so than this town is out in the middle of nowhere.

You get the idea.

And since it is far away from … well, everything … there is no reason to follow any rules for naming or pronouncing things … not at all what you would expect.

And you would think that I would be used to things like this, right?

With a maiden name of Getz (whatever Holly wants, Holly Getz) … going to Plum High (oh yes I did) and Slippery Rock (aka Slimy Pebble) … you would think I had heard it all.

You may be familiar with colloquial pronunciations … like Skookel Parkway for the Schuylkill Parkway ouside of Philadelphia (sometimes called the Sure-Kill Parkway) … or Balmer for Baltimore … then there is the town of LaJolla which is pronounced La Hoya regardless of how it looks like it should be pronounced. 

In this area there is the town of DuBois. Outsiders call it DuBwa. Natives call it DuBoyz.

There is also Juniata … pronounced just like it is spelled … but visitors are inclined to pronounce it Wahnita.

And LaJose is not pronounced La Hosay. Or La Joes. It is LaJose. Like La Joe ssssss.

Seriously.

When I moved here I asked about Doctors.

Me: “So, who the best Gynocologist in town?”

She: “Dr. Grab”

Me: “Funny, no seriously … who should I go to?”

She: “Dr. Grab … and he has a son … named Peter.”

He does. And his son was in the service. Think about it.

I now know the whole family socially, and they are charming. Dr. Grab has retired. And the son says his name forwards instead of military style.

Since the area is in the country many methods are used to heat our homes. Some use propane. Some use electricity. Most homes in the area are heated with Gas. Natural Gas.

From People’s Natural Gas.

Would I lie to you? Look it up.

I always wondered where it came from … now I know.

Then there was the first time I heard this …

He: “Hey, Holly I’m going to go out to cop drugs.”

Me: (thinking that he didn’t look like a typical druggie) “You are going where to do what?”

He: “I am going into town … to cop drugs.”

Me: “I didn’t know you used drugs.”

He: (rolling eyes) “Not cop drugs … Kopp Drugs … the drug store chain in the area.”

Me: “Oh. Yeah. I knew that.” (I didn’t)

But the one that made me laugh today … the one that got me started on all of this was as I was reading the 2013 Calendar for Pearls Before Swine. I got the Kindle / Nook version just to read the cartoons.

Here is the one.

 I read “Pastor’s Dull Sermons Make Hell Seem Like Appealing Alternative” incorrectly … and laughed out loud.

I read it “Pastor Dull’s Sermons Make Hell Seem Like Appealing Alternative”

Yes we do.

Have an appropriately named Pastor here named Pastor Dull.

A hell-fire and brimstone kind of guy.

Somehow I’m guessing he doesn’t buy all the Mayan Calendar stuff.