… Oh My!
And for the second time in this blog, I shamelessly modify the line from the Wizard of Oz. And once again, all due apologies to any Friends of Dorothy who might be reading.
There I was, happily snoozing away, dreaming of a combination of renovating two locations, saving chairs and shoes to commemorate some performances, and some kind of audition for radio, getting my infant daughter and driving great distances … and the phone rang.
Perhaps I should mention that I am not driving any great distance soon, am not auditioning for anything, have never been in anything that qualifies as a performance … assuming we don’t mention my ex-husband … and have not had an infant daughter for a great number of years.
And I am renovating one location … my house.
Hence the call.
Fumbling for the phone without my glasses on and blurrily seeing that the call was from my young Amish friend Jacob … of the Putting A New Roof On My House Jacob … I began frantically pushing the left button … trying to get the call to answer.
Left button is for cell phones. Center button is for house phones.
Pressed the Center Button … just in time.
Me: (trying to sound awake) “Hello?”
Jacob: “Hello, Holly?”
Me: (pretending to be delighted to have been wakened from a deep sleep) “Yes Jacob! And how are you this morning?”
Jacob: “I am well. Are you still willing to take me to the store and get the supplies that we need?”
Did you ever have one of those conversations where the words coming out of your mouth are far more cheerful than the thoughts in your mind?
Yeah. Like that.
And I hung up. Forgetting to ask if we needed a truck or if he was bringing any of the needed measurements or if he had any better idea than I had of what exactly we needed.
That all crossed my mind twenty minutes later after about three gulps of caffeine in the form of a wildly sweetened cup of strong coffee.
Right about then, the phone rang. Once. From the number of Jacob.
This was fortunate … as the phone in the little shed that he uses is shared by four families … and there is usually nobody there to answer it.
I immediately called back. And got a busy signal. And proceeded to repeatedly redial the number … over and over and over and … it rang.
“Hello?” said a voice on the other end.
“Hey Jacob!! This is Holly.”
Long pause. Very long pause. Then … in a voice that almost sounded like English was a second language …
“Jacob is not … that is … I’m not … well he is not here at the present.”
Oh wonderful. Might as well have said “Hi, this is the crazy English that your son/grandson/nephew has been riding around town with recently.”
Holly babbles something vaguely coherent about my phone ringing and thinking it was Jacob and my roof and … and I ended the conversation.
So the plan was to go get Jacob and then get Linda’s truck and then go get gutters and downspouts and whatnot for tomorrows festivities.
But first, the measurements … which he had not brought along … so it was back to the house where Linda and her truck were patiently waiting. And once again Jacob climbed out my bedroom window and later my bathroom window to take the measurements needed to assemble a parts list for the gutters and downspouts.
This is how all professionals do this stuff, right?
Right about then a friend chimed in on Facebook.
She: “What’s up?”
Me: “Just about to leave for Lowe’s to get materials for gutters and downspouts.”
She: “OH YIPPEEEEE…Lowe’s trip!!!! Fun!!!! I bet you are happy that you will be getting the roof done!!!”
Me: “YAY ROOF YAY ROOF YAY ROOF … why, what gave you that idea?”
She: “The weather should be accommodating for you…..”
Me: “Well, if not they have assured me they have rain gear.”
She: “Well, they work in all kinds of weather…so you should be good! They are amazing for sure!!!”
I didn’t think about the weather.
Probably should check …
So lets see … the Amish are coming to my house tomorrow to put a new roof on. Should take a day … maybe two.
That would be Wednesday the 19th and Thursday the 20th. Right before Friday the 21st.
Folks all said I wouldn’t get a new roof until Hell froze over … or the world came to an end … temperature is in the 50’s … so …
Oh well, Friday looks like its going to be a little warm.
Looks like Wednesday and Thursday should be good, though.