… Fred?

A fish?

Probably should have named him Dale the Veil Tail Male … but he just looked like a Fred. Well, actually he looks more like a “Farreeeeedd!” (said loudly with appropriate hand waving … if you get my drift) … but I just call him Fred.

So its been a week since Fred joined the household.

Just the fact that Fred is still alive is pretty amazing all by itself given my domestic talents here. But the morning routine is to make the bed and feed the fish. So even though I don’t think he ate for the first three or four days, he is now happily munching each morning on a few squiggly flakes of Betta Fish Food.

This weekend I realized that it would soon be time to change the water in Fred’s bowl. But this posed a problem.

How to get Fred out of the bowl.

Alive.

Solution: Go buy a Fred Net. How much could that cost? A buck or two?

Initially, a week ago, Fred had only cost like four dollars … although the plastic Betta Bowl and all cost another five … then the special Betta Water … and Betta Water Conditioner … and Betta Food … and …

But I had to do that, right?

So it was –

Fred – four bucks
Fred Supplies – twenty bucks ($19.80 actually)

But hey, you need to get things for fish. Like food.

So off I set to the local Petco to get a Fred Net.

How much could a Fred Net cost, after all? A buck or two?

But look. There are some stones for the bottom of the tank.

I had been thinking that stones would be better than the crummy gravel that came with the kit. And they had some pretty ones in clear and turquoise and blue … just like Fred.

And how much could they cost? A buck or two?

OK, so $3.49 … but still … they are on Sale marked down from $4.99 … so that’s good, right?

Toss stones into cart.

On to get the Fred Net, because … oh … wait … what will I put Fred into while I am cleaning out the plastic Betta Bowl?

Oh look. There are some Glass Betta Bowls.

I had been thinking that a Glass Betta Bowl would be way cooler than a Plastic Betta Bowl. And think of the savings. I could alternate between Plastic and Glass every other week. That’s good.

And how much could a Glass Betta Bowl cost? A buck or four?

Oh. So $13.99. But it’s a one time cost … and everything else is so cheap for a fish.

Toss the Glass Betta Bowl into the cart.

On to get the Fred Net, because … oh … wait … there is the display of Betta Water from last time. That works well.

OK … so after I wasn’t able to use the initial bottle of Betta Water since I hadn’t rinsed the gravel like five times … but the bottle is good for storing water to be used in the next water change. And two would be better.

And how much could it cost? A buck or two?

OK, four bucks … and I will be using this over and over again … cheap at twice the price, right?

Toss water into cart.

On to get the Fred Net, because … oh … wait … there is that Cool Betta Food that will keep Fred’s color all blue and turquoise. And I will need more food eventually, right?

And how much could it cost? A buck or two?

OK … $3.99 … but I can alternate between the two types of Betta Food … and Fred will get a balanced diet … and a shiny blue coat.

Toss food into cart.

On to get the Fred Net, because … oh … wait … look … they have those cool live plants that you can put into the bowl … the ones they didn’t have in stock last week.

I wonder how much they cost? A buck or three?

Oh. $5.99. Well, it will be a living plant. And they feed the Betta Fish on their roots. So I’d actually be saving money on food. And a plant will look nice in the bedroom.

Toss plant into cart.

At this point, I ran into my friend Linda. Who has in her cart two goldfish … fifteen cents a piece. Meant for food for larger creatures. Saved from being snacks by my tender-hearted friend.

“Look. I am doing fish too!” she says.

“But what will you put them in?” I ask.

“I have a bowl at home” she replies. “And the food is only a buck or so.”

And it is.

Then she sees the stones I am planning to use in my new bowl.

“Oh look. How pretty.” she says.

I explain how this will be much nicer than the current gravel.

“Then can I have your old gravel?” she asks.

“Of course” I reply … and head back to the stones and gravel aisle … and see some turquoise stones that I can use in the bottom of the current Plastic Betta Bowl … which I am going to alternate …

And how much can the stones cost? A buck or three?

Oh … $3.99? … well … I couldn’t turn down my friend, now could I?

Toss second bag of stones into cart.

On to get the Fred Net because … well … that is what I came here in the first place to get.

And Linda is there too.

We each get a small fish net … for $1.25 each.

And toss them into the cart.

Linda checks out.

$10.

And that includes two new fish, fish food, fish net and copious treats for all three of her dogs. And tales of how she has donated all kinds of stuff last week to the local animal shelter.

Glances of approval from all around.

Holly checks out … and on checking out, I am asked on the little screen if I want to contribute to the well-being of small animals somewhere.

Checkout clerk looks on expectantly.

Not wanting to look like a Scrooge, I smile and say “Why, of course” while clicking on the $1 donation button. After all, I too have donated recently to the shelter.

OK, so it was two carriers, an electric water fountain and other odds and ends … plus two cats and seven kittens … but still.

Then up comes the total.

$39.65.

Surely this is a mistake. After all … I mean … a fish … how much … and … well, the bowl is glass and was fourteen dollars all by itself, after all … plus tax.

So now its –

Fred – $4.00
Fred Supplies – $60.00

This stupid fish better not die … or I’ll just kill it.