… with all due apologies to Lewis Carroll on Ash Wednesday … the first day of Lent … the first day of my new diet healthy eating plan.

“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
“To talk of many things:
Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax–
Of cabbages–and kings–
And why the sea is boiling hot–
And whether pigs have wings.”

Note to self: Buy running shoes … or walking shoes … or gotta lose that twenty pounds shoes. You want to look good the next time you get to the water … ships or no ships.

Recipe: Cabbage Soup … also known as Skinny Soup … start with really boiling hot water … add chopped up cabbage, onion, green beans, salt and peeled tomatoes. Uses more calories than you take in.

Good idea.

Pigs —> Bacon —> Yum.

“But wait a bit,” the Oysters cried,
“Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!”
“No hurry!” said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.

Q: Do I have to exercise to lose this weight?
A: How badly do you want to lose it?

Q: Then how much do I have to exercise?
A: How badly do you want to lose it?

Q: How fast do I have to exercise?
A: How badly do you want to lose it?

I’m noticing a recurring theme here. Not sure I like it.

“A loaf of bread,” the Walrus said,
“Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed–
Now if you’re ready, Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed.”

But surely I get to eat something, she said … forlornly looking at the Frozen French Fries. French toast, perhaps? I didn’t get to eat French Toast before I started on all of this.

Decisions, decisions.

Whose idea was this “Start a diet on Ash Wednesday” thing, anyway?

Oh.

Mine.

When I was little we used to give up candy for Lent. I’m starting to think it was a way for our parents to save money on groceries.

We weren’t even Catholic.

Wish me luck here.