Or as a friend always says “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.”
Let the excuses begin.
First it was “My I slept later than I expected, might as well call my friend Linda to see if she still wants to have a salad for lunch”
Then later it was “Too early to write now, let me check emails and whatnot first”
Follow this with a hearty, yet unexpected … no really … nap on a Sunday afternoon.
If I recall correctly, the nap happened approximately five minutes after I laid down … to brainstorm a better plot outline for my novel.
Note to self: Do not do plot outlines laying down on a cool, lazy Sunday afternoon.
It would almost have to be a better outline than I have now, which more closely resembles “MC goes to lake, heartbroken. MC lives happily ever after.”
But I am definitely not getting words on paper … or screen … today.
Instead I am waffling, procrastinating, avoiding and all around beating myself up mentally.
“See? You can’t do it. You can’t even put two sentences together today. Who told you that you could write? A novel? Really? In a month? Delusional, that’s what you are. Delusional.”
Hey, James Patterson said sanity is over-rated.
The inner-critic doesn’t want to hear it.
The inner-critic thinks I can’t do it.
The inner-critic reminds me that other than dry boring technical type Instructional Design and Technical Writing and Proposal Writing, I have not gotten paid real money for writing.
The inner-critic has no sense of humor whatsoever.
The inner-critic also thinks the five pounds I have lost in two days on my simultaneous one-month diet is a fluke.
I’m pretty sure the inner-critic wants a piece of Key Lime Pie.
So I do have some grapes, left over from the last trip to the Amish farm market.
Maybe the inner-critic will be good with those instead.
1. Cardboard cut-out characters
2. Overcrowding – Too many characters
3. Over-writing – Too many words
4. Tormented heroes – Too many thoughts, not enough actions
5. Lack of Setting – Where am I?