OK that is a little misleading.
No, I have not found love yet after the proverbial broken heart. I have found a few very nice men. And I have met and hung out with several of them.
But I guess I have not kissed enough frogs to find one that is a keeper. Or maybe I am just missing something / someone who is right in front of me.
But I thought I’d give an update here.
For guidance and suggestions I have gone to several places.
First is the lifetime of experience that I have accumulated over the years.
Yeah. Well. And how is that working out for me? I do have to give myself credit. I don’t make the same mistake over and over again.
I find a whole set of new ones to make.
Then there are Friends.
These would be the same well-meaning friends who suggested that to get over one man I should get … well …
Let’s just say I have chosen my own way of dealing with it all.
Although I do appreciate the many different “date my friend” / “date my father” / “date my ex” suggestions that they have made.
Still haven’t worked my way through all of that list.
As always there is the Counselor.
His suggestion is to keep my eyes and options open. To not make decisions before they need to be made. Like eliminating people for the shallowest of reasons.
Not that I’ve done that or anything.
Have no expectations. And take people and my friendships / relationships with them for what they are … or aren’t.
Also there is The Elephant Journal, Facebook and the internet.
There have been several articles in The Elephant Journal which have been great reads and have lent their own bits and pieces.
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/01/5-steps-to-meeting-the-love-of-my-life-kristin-hauser/ gave me several things to do before moving on. Most of these I had already done, but it was good to see them again … and know that I was on the right track.
I’m still working on “#2. Opened the rooms of the heart.”
At some point, I chose to stop the struggle, air out the rooms and with that some stayed and some left permanently. This helped me to realize the infinite space that resides within when we are daring enough to look.
This article http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/01/your-soulmate-isnt-who-you-think-it-is/ really hit me between the eyes.
It can be summed up in the following quote:
Relationships, in general, should be easy. If they’re taking a ton of work, a ton of the time, something’s wrong.
Recently I was getting some recall work done on my car at the dealership when I found myself chatting with a younger woman who was also getting back into the world of dating and whatnot.
She had a way of approaching it all that made an incredibly huge amount of sense to me.
Good people make you feel good.
Bad people make you feel bad.
Well, that sounds simple enough, now doesn’t it?
I’m not sure it’s always that simple, but it sounds like a pretty good rule of thumb to follow.
And then there is the ultimate go-to for me … the Pearls Before Swine comic strips.
- Pig’s new date looks a little green around the gills.
- Pig is going to get tanked, I’m thinking.
- Sounds fishy to me. Just sayin’
- Perhaps pig actually got the tuna with good taste.
- Does this mean he now sleeps with fishes? Poor Pig.
- It’s never the same.
But above all there is the following quote … the one I have to always follow:
To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead. — Bertrand Russell