I just posted this to my Facebook page. But you know what? I think I’ll share it with you folks who read my blog posts here.
There is nothing like a really good screw up to pull things into perspective and give you a chance at a little self-reflection.
First a picture.
I like this quote for a lot of reasons. And now I am going to tell you a story. I was going to not do it, but I’ve decided to. It’s in the “Confess the fault when you are wrong” part of the quote. And about perspective.
One or two of you know a few of the crummy things that have been going on in my life the last few days. Most of you know none of them, or maybe one or two of them. Nobody knows all of them. Those on this FB page pretty much know I’m private like that, and respect that privacy.
First the good news.
Last Wednesday at the station I had a great time cross-training for the Saturday shift, doing my normal 6-8 shift and hanging out with friends. Then Saturday I got to do my first shift with all the Prairie Home Companion craziness and whatnot and more hanging with friends. Great fun.
Then this morning I got an email which said in part “… your on-air performance is outstanding, and I’d like to find out whether you would be interested in cross-training for our most challenging shift: Sunday morning, 8am to noon. It’s a bit more technically complex than the other shifts, and it’s at a high audience time for us …”
I didn’t tell anyone about it, but I did break my arm patting myself on the back at what a good on-air host I was. And how grateful I was to be asked to learn yet some more skills in an area I so thoroughly enjoy. So very grateful.
The day was eventful for many reasons not the least of which was having to buy yet another new tire from my dwindling funds because of yet another flat tire. One thing after another happened. When it rains it pours. But I got through it all.
Then while sitting here glad it was all over, I opened my emails again. And saw yet another email or two from the station. I was assuming it was the answer to a few technical questions I had about the wonderful new shift.
No. Not that.
I had totally forgotten. I was supposed to do a shift … tonight. And. I. Totally. Forgot. It. And left them hanging because of it. They had to scramble and cover and record and do automation and whatnot. Because I was irresponsible and left them in the lurch. I screwed up.
Yes, I apologized. Profusely.
And now the perspective part.
A 34-year-old friend with newly diagnosed end stage cancer just had her first chemo treatment. Many people are facing life challenges right now that, because I “was there” 25 plus years ago, I know are daunting at best.
Some are living in abusive situations facing life with a hope that some miracle is going to happen to save them … and telling themselves and the rest of us that it isn’t really all that bad.
Some friends are dying, dead, or in jail because they didn’t “get it” in some life ways when they could. And some are facing the challenges of a rapidly ending life, knowing that there is not much more time left.
Yes, I screwed up. I’m human and I make mistakes. I get overwhelmed by what life throws at me from time to time. Sometimes I hurt people’s feelings and don’t even realize it.
But in the grand scheme of things, I have so much for which to be grateful. I am alive and am in relatively good health. I see the world through somewhat rose-colored glasses that show the good that can be had in life.
I like most everyone I meet (until they give me a reason not to do so) and have more than a small amount of patience with most anyone. I wear the world like a loose garment most days.
I live in a house that, although badly in need of an external paint job, is paid for and warm against the cold. My car, although in some bizarre rubber devouring phase, is also fully paid and functional. I was fed today through the kindness of others.
I have good friends who, although I screw up, will most likely not think less of me. Real friends are like that. And there are people who, for some unknown reason, seem to value my opinion, experience and input on matters large and small.
The world has not spun off its axis because of my error. The NPR police have not shown up at my doorstep, and the sun will most likely rise in the morning.
I’m not sure that any of you will read this to the end, but if you have, know that I am grateful to have you as a friend.
I am indeed a very fortunate woman.