Food.

Yes, food.

I know, most folks will resort to the alcoholic beverage of their choice when faced with life’s challenges, but personally I prefer the challenge of the sadness / food prescription for it all.

Earlier today, I was thinking of what I could do for my daily blog entry. The Happy Holly Project entry of the day. And I thought …. “Hey I can have dinner with a friend”. Then just as quickly came the thought “You sure do rely on food a lot for comfort and happiness in this blog.”

Well, as a matter of fact, I do.

And it occurred to me that my reliance on food is more like a prescription for happiness … at least that’s how it has happened in my life. I present a few examples for your consideration.

In general all of these Prescriptions should be taken as needed or until five additional pounds show on the bathroom scale. Standing on one foot and exhaling enthusiastically while weighing is highly recommended.

Rx for Homesickness = Lasagna.

Prescription varies based on what the favorite food was when you were growing up. For some it may be Fried Chicken, for others Pizza. Lasagna is the universal anecdote. But the absolute main requirement is fond memories of days gone by.

Rx for Guilt = Ice Cream.

Adjust according to Guilt Incurred. For Mild Guilt, administer one single scoop ice cream cone with sugar cone. Cake cone optional. For more Severe Guilt, administer Hot Fudge topped Banana Split with three scoops of Ice Cream. Personally I’ve been going for Root Beer Floats, so I’m not sure where on the Guilt Continuum that falls.

Rx for Loneliness = Comfort Food.

You know, Comfort Food. Home. Mom. Meatloaf. Fried Anything. For Severe Loneliness, add gravy appropriately. From Turkey gravy all the way up to artery clogging Sausage Gravy.  Some of us had Gravy Bread as children. This is accomplished by the copious wiping up of all the drippings and grease and salt under any form of broiled meat with a piece of bread. Instant cure guaranteed.

Rx for Heartbreak = Chips and Dip.

Personal preferences notwithstanding, I recommend Wise Potato Chips. These reach the pinnacle of that perfect combination of grease, salt, burnt and curled chips. Kettle Chips can be used as a generic substitution. Dip needs to be creamy as an offset to the salty taste of the Chips. I recommend using Philadelphia Cream Cheese, a super splash of whole milk, and a generous amount of grated onion. Blend in a blender and remember, there is nobody to worry about with onion breath. Enjoy.

Rx for Frustration = Chocolate. 

I am sure there is a medical study out there, which I will not cite, that assures women if not men of the recuperative powers of chocolate for general Frustration. Sexual Frustration on the other hand requires Dark Chocolate. The darker the better. For those of you with, shall we say, more creative Sexual Frustration, Dark Chocolate filled with Raspberry filling is a sure-fire cure. I personally recommend Ghirardelli Squares – Dark Chocolate with Raspberry.

Rx for Boredom = Popcorn

For mild Boredom, plain popcorn with no salt or butter will do. Additional ingredients are to be added based on the amount of Boredom. For severe Boredom, go the full gamut of Movie Theatre Popcorn with extra Salt and Butter. And as we discovered yesterday … all calories consumed eating Popcorn in a Movie Theatre do not count.

This blog reminds me a lot of the old Seinfeld show. All about nothing. Which is what everyone’s life is from time to time.

Its seeing the joy and happiness in nothing that is the trick.