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… and of course this can only happen to me.

My day started well. Early morning good thoughts … interesting dreams from the night before … and the opportunity to roll back over and sleep in … really late … which I did.

Shortly after waking, the phone rings. Downstairs.

So down I went … to call back whomever … and make myself a cup of coffee.

A new weekend day … at its finest.

First I had to move all the contents of my cupboards from the countertop to get to the coffee maker  … which I did while reflecting on what a wonderful day it was. I had half cleaned them yesterday and left both the cupboard contents on the counter and yesterdays dirty dishes in the sink soaking.

Perhaps I have mentioned that Betty Crocker and I do not share any common genes.

And I decided to call the friend back as I made the coffee and cleared the dishes from the day before. Made perfect sense at the time … seriously it did.

(phone rings on other end – friend answers – Holly pushes coffee single perk button)

Me: Hey! Good morning! Sorry I didn’t make it to the phone in time. How are you doing?

She: Oh just fine … (voice dripping with sarcasm) … I cannot take one more moment with my family visit here.

Me: Sorry to hear that … what is going on?

She: Well, they all eat nuts and berries … and NO coffee.

Me: (turning around and looking in the sink … and turning a whiter shade of pale) OH NO!

She: I KNOW. And furthermore, they don’t eat meat. I am really craving a burger here.

Me: (feeling vaguely nauseous) OH NO!

She: Yes, seriously! If I make it to the end of this trip it will be a miracle.

Me: (eyes wide open in disbelief) OH NO!

She: Oh it’s not so bad. The weather here is beautiful. Far better than back home.

Me: (stunned) OH NO! OH NO!

She: (short pause) Oh no? What do you mean?

Me: Well, I made dip last night as a treat.

(short explanation … I love to treat myself occasionally with one of my favorite things … Wise Potato Chips and dip made of Philadelphia Cream Cheese, milk and grated onion … superb.)

She: I am jealous. No potato chips here.

Me: And I left the dishes in the sink till today … filled with water … to soak.

She: Okay …

Me: And now there is something floating in the blender. Two little ears … and the top of a body. It’s either another bat, or a little mouse.

She: Okay then … why don’t you take care of that and call back in a few?

(another short explanation … when you live in the country, all Gods creatures look for warm places to live in the winter. It seems that over the years my house has had a Welcome sign out for tiny field mice … starting in September.)

So I took the large glass blender filled with cream cheese dip, water … and not-Mickey … and went to the back door and unceremoniously dumped his dip-soaked little body in the yard for some treat deprived outdoor creature to munch on.

Unfortunately, this is not the first time a small field mouse has died under my watch.

When I have had cats, it has not been a problem. They thought little field mice were nighttime treats brought to them with free delivery.

Back in my married days, one of the little guys climbed in the cupboard, ate through the plastic lid of the Fry Daddy and fell into the stored fry oil. It was the last time I tried to use old frying oil … and the last time I used the Fry Daddy.

And once, when entertaining quite important guests, we all adjourned to the dining room. A beautiful room with a leaded glass built-in corner cabinet, sliding panel door, one glass paned door, antique sewing machine holding a large Boston Fern and a beautiful Ethan Allen dining set.

On sitting down, I felt some toy under the table with my foot. It seems that I was wearing something other than hard soled shoes. And when I lifted the tablecloth to see which toy had found its way there I saw … a dead field mouse … which I had been playing with using my foot.

On taking a quick breath, the man next to me lifted the tablecloth … looked underneath … and calm as could be … lowered the cloth and said to me “yep … that’s what it is.”

And we proceeded to finish our dinners without any talk of the dead creature below.

A few months later we invited the same couple back and had a tongue-in-cheek dinner … complete with menu cards which I did in calligraphy.

I forget what all was served, but I know it contained Welsh Rodent, Trap-ist Cheese and Chocolate Mouse.

I feel bad about the little guys demise today.

But I am at least comforted by the fact that the he died while enjoying a tasty repast of Cream Cheese dip.

Certainly one of my ideas of Heaven.

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