… eating bon-bons.

Not sure where I first heard that phrase, but somehow I thought that by this point in my life I’d be doing both.

And certainly on a Labor Day Holiday Weekend.

But unfortunately, I have once again taken Labor Day literally … and am doing neither.

What I am doing is twofold.

First I am in shock over my WordPress statistics. Usually I have between 50 and 100 readers a day.

Today I have 0.

As in nobody has read it 0. As in it looks like everyone has a life this weekend 0. As in I could type anything here and it wouldn’t make a difference 0.

But on the off-chance that someone will actually look here in the next five hours, let me talk a bit about the second thing I am doing.

Painting.

The living room.

Now I don’t know about you, but I am not a handy-dandy do-it-yourself person by nature.

I am more of a hire-a-real-person-and-let-them-do-the-work person.

So when I first bought this house, I paid the contractor to do the painting. It was nice and it was expensive.

When I wanted the living room repainted several years ago, I hired a friend and paid him by the hour. Many, many, many hours later, I paid him to leave and finished it myself. It was expensive.

This time, I have been doing many things myself or with a few close friends. Not so expensive.

Today is one of those days. For those of you who know why I started this blog in the first place, I will say that a year ago today was arguably the happiest day of my life.

Things were perfect on the romantic front and my grandson was born.

This year I am without romance and my grandson is hours away …

So what better thing to do than work therapy? After all, I didn’t see any Pina Coladas or Bon-Bons anywhere around.

After pulling up all the flooring yesterday, I realized it was the perfect time to do one more thing in the living room.

Paint the walls.

So I changed into nice, clean, paint-free painting clothes. And looked at the task at hand.

Problem.

The walls had brown suede paint from the last painting which I mentioned above. And everyone knows you can’t paint a pale yellow on top of a medium brown … well, not if you want the pale yellow walls to look like the swatch.

Primer.

No problem.

So I got the Kilz that I had had for some months waiting for the painting projects and opened the can with the screwdriver.

And got paint on my flip-flops and feet.

Not a problem.

Then I looked in the can.

Problem.

The paint had separated totally … the bottom was a glue like substance and the top was an almost clear liquid.

Do you have any idea how long and hard you have to stir Kilz which has been sitting for months to get it to become one consistancy? But I did it.

No problem.

Pouring some into a paint holder thingy … technical term … I started by rolling the long-handled roller in the paint.  And started to roll it onto the first wall.

And got paint on the floor.

No problem. I was going to sand the floors later anyway.

I reached for a far place on the wall, and leaned into the wall to get to it.

And got paint on my pants.

No problem. This is latex paint and should wash out.

Then I kicked it into high gear, painting the broad strokes with lightning speed and accuracy … and sweat. Did I mention it was 73 degrees with 76 percent humidity? So the sweat was pouring down my face and I wiped it away.

And got paint on my cheek.

No problem. This is latex paint and should wash off.

Working my way around the frames of the windows, I took great care to use the paint brush and cover the bright Italian Red stripe that someone else had thought would look good around all the windows and doors.

And splattered paint on my arms.

No problem. This is latex paint and should wash off. 

Since my back was starting to really hurt, I took the easy way out and decided to work my way around the bottom of the walls while sitting on a milk carton. This was far easier as all I had to do was take the brush and fill in the areas between where the roller had gone and the baseboard which was already white. White that needed repainting but did not need Kilz.

But you know, when you are sitting on a milk crate and looking down at all the areas that need painted, on a hot and humid day, your glasses have a habit of sliding down your nose. So I pushed my glasses up with the back of my hand.

And got paint on my nose.

No problem. This is latex paint and will wash off easily.

Finishing the bottom part I went to do the part above the large rollered areas up to the ceiling. This of course is the exact opposite sequence to the way they recommend in all the how-to videos on YouTube. But no matter.

I got up on the milk carton and painted all the areas way high up … reaching far and leaning in to get the places that needed just a little extra paint to cover.

And got paint in my hair.

No problem. This is latex paint and surely will wash out easily.

Once I was done with the first coat, I took a quick look around and realizing that I had enough for a second coat, I poured some more into the paint holder and proceeded to do a second coat.

By this time I was getting as much paint on me as on the walls, it seemed. But I finished the second coat … and the finishing touches … and a little of the baseboard.

And of course it was no problem. Because everyone knows that latex paint washes out easily.

They say.

Realizing that I was to have dinner with a friend and needed to stop by the local Lowe’s store for more paint for the pale yellow I had decided on, I took a quick shower and changed clothes.

Guess what?

Kilz may be latex paint, but this heavy-duty cover it all latex paint does not come out nearly as easily as regular latex paint does.

Oh well, No Problem … white goes with everything, right?

And where is a good Pina Colada when I need one?