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The month is done … as is the WordPress NaPoWriMo project. And the Camp NaNoWriMo project. And for the part that I put out here for every day of the month, it was fun.

So for anyone who wishes to read it in its entirety, I decided to take one more day … one day beyond the end of the formal NaPoWriMo … and put all the verses here, back to back.

After all, it was NaNoWriMo that got me started in all this writing in the first place in November of 2011. 11/1/11 … the day that will live in infamy. At least for me.

There is a Category for those who may want to read in parts. And the Featured Image I created is at the top of this and all of those blog pages.

Some days have additional poetic creations, but all follow the form I imposed upon myself.

First line = the topic
Second line = the reflection on the topic
Third line = His perspective
Fourth line = Her perspective

And of course the main topic is Heartbreak … as a Relationship dies … or not.

And, as I said way back on the first day of NaPoWriMo … April Fools Day:

So every day for the month of April here, I will write a short poem. And by short, I mean like one verse.

NAPOWRIMO DAY ONE

Bedtime …
….. Total difference between Him and Her.
….. Oblivion in an instant for Him.
….. Sleepless night for Her.

NAPOWRIMO DAY TWO

Dawn breaks …
….. And the difference between Him and Her?
….. He thinks of Her and tries to forget.
….. She thinks of Him and cannot forget.

NAPOWRIMO DAY THREE

Counseling … a listener who hears with wisdom and speaks with kindness
….. Every other Wednesday morning
….. Him, for the first time … full of hope.
…..Her, yet another time … full of resignation.

And so continues the poem …
and the project …
And the healing.

NAPOWRIMO DAY FOUR

Writing … a balm for pain and tool for grieving …
….. the public expression of a private need which can only be expressed by you.
….. His fable … a tale full of love.
….. Her diary … a rambling of pain and tears.

For those who know the whole story,
or who have read from its inception,
you know how greatly

… the mere act of writing this blog
… with the intent of happiness
… has helped me.

Helped me to refocus.

But some wounds only heal with time.

NAPOWRIMO DAY FIVE

Friends … Acquaintances? …
….. Pleasant faces … pleasant chatter … different places … Him and Her.
….. He wonders where She is and what She is doing.
….. She wonders where He is and what He is doing.

What memories this brings up for me.
This creation each day.

And I wonder.
… What he is doing.
… And where he is.
… Even now.

“That the powerful play goes on … and I may contribute a verse.”

Oh me. Oh life.

Uncle Walt.

NAPOWRIMO DAY SIX

First glance, first love … young, innocent, insecure …
….. hearts beat faster … hopes grow … fears multiply.
….. I wonder if He likes me?
….. More like … how could She not know?

NAPOWRIMO DAY SEVEN

Passion …
….. Remembering … for Him and for Her.
….. A deep breath … and Intimacy for Him.
….. Breath snatched away … and Romance for Her.

Amazing how two people …
in the same situation …
can remember …
perhaps differently.

Both remember the facts …
perhaps the same.

And both remember the feelings …
each unto themselves.

But they both do remember.

Well.

 NAPOWRIMO DAY EIGHT

A cool breeze … a warm thought …
….. Memories of gazing deep into each others eyes … the same eyes.
….. His beautiful hazel eyes
….. Her beautiful hazel eyes

If eyes are a combination …
of green … and brown … and blue … and grey …
can they really be called hazel?

Or can they only be called a window into a loving soul?

Like seeing your own soul reflected back with love.

There is nothing on the face of the earth that is better than seeing yourself through the eyes of a person who loves you … no matter what.

Nothing.

 NAPOWRIMO DAY NINE

Memories rising unbidden … like a bolt of electricity …
….. A quote “You’ll never stop loving them”
….. He wonders.
….. She wonders.

Life is full of choices.

And regrets.

And memories.

And … it is true.

 

NAPOWRIMO DAY TEN

Going about the daily tasks … focusing when suddenly …
…..  the thing that caught your attention the first time.
….. The Curls says He.
….. The Floppy Hair says She.

Beauty, they say, is in the eye of the beholder.

Those things that are the bane of existence … for one … become that which is oddly attractive … even erotic … to the other.

Go figure.

NAPOWRIMO DAY ELEVEN

 … Memories of total joy …
…..  bliss unlike anything ever experienced before.
….. What’s for dinner says He.
….. I’ll never forget says She.

They say it is better to get to your deathbed
… and have memories rather than regrets.

I have memories.

 NAPOWRIMO DAY TWELVE

There is a part of my heart that nobody else will ever have … only you.
….. And a hole in my heart where you have been.
….. His in the shape of Her.
….. Hers in the shape of Him.

Remembering the words.

Feeling the pain.

Knowing.

NAPOWRIMO DAY THIRTEEN

Total joy … ecstasy … bliss … passion …
….. Blessed? Cursed? Or? … Life intervening …
….. He looks and thinks.
….. She looks and feels.

Le cœur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît pas.  …..
The heart has reasons that reason cannot know.

By French scientist, mathematician and philosopher
Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)

Of course he is.

 NAPOWRIMO DAY FOURTEEN

Funny how food … can bring … memories.
….. Sushi … Sashimi … Wasabi.
….. He doesn’t eat it again … memories of Her.
….. She eats it constantly … memories of Him.

Food.

Eating Food.

Thoughts of Food.

Memories from all.

NAPOWRIMO DAY FIFTEEN

Normally I would have another verse … another poem … another comment.

It will have to wait for tomorrow.

I think instead I will just keep watching the coverage of the Boston bombing at the Marathon. I am grateful that my friend Andrew Slack was out of town today and is safe.

Keep prayers and good thoughts going in their direction.

All the best to you all.

Holly.

NAPOWRIMO DAY SIXTEEN

Days fly by … on wings of time …
….. Weeks … Months … Years …
….. Will I ever hear her laughter?
….. Will I ever touch his face?

Things that can never be predicted.

For sure.

That would make all the difference.

NAPOWRIMO DAY SEVENTEEN

Sickness … Disease … Death …..
….. Those things that are inevitable … part of living … as a living being …
….. And I will not be there for Her.
….. And I will not even know until it is too late for Him.

One of the worst things.

Caring … loving …
… and not knowing.

NAPOWRIMO DAY EIGHTEEN

Leonard Cohen … unmatched verses of love branded across …
….. their hearts … their minds … their thoughts
….. Dance Me To The End Of Love, He says.
….. A Thousand Kisses Deep, She says.

The most love filled words ever written into song.

The sweetest words whispered in the tenderest of moments.

The most song-linked memories in life.

The collection that cannot be heard ever again … without tears …

Emotions from the deepest places of the soul …

And memories.

NAPOWRIMO DAY NINETEEN

A new life … the best day … the future
….. I picked you … I picked you
….. You are complete … the complete package … He said.
….. In your eyes … my walls are now down … She said.

There was a day.

There was hope.

There was joy.

There was passion.

There was love.

Remember.

NAPOWRIMO DAY TWENTY

Time together … never forgotten …
….. Passion … Intimacy … Romance …
….. Yes it was, He said.
….. Yes it was, She said.

As they say … when you get to the end …

You do not regret that which you did.

You regret that which you wanted to do and didn’t.

NAPOWRIMO DAY TWENTY ONE

And then the end began … by Him.
….. One paragraph on Facebook.
….. It is what I must do, He thought.
….. She could not think.

Cannot think.
Cannot breathe.
Cannot imagine.

Not unlike driving at one hundred miles an hour.

Breeze blowing, sun shining, life looming large.
In a totally clear, blissfully unimpeded area.

And a brick wall appears out of nowhere.
Directly ahead.

And the total devastation is without equal. 

NAPOWRIMO DAY TWENTY TWO

Waking from a dreamless sleep … eyes open … sun shining …
….. And the sharp pain of loss slams into a gently emerging breath.
….. But it was what I had to do, He thinks.
….. But I believed, She thinks.

In those first few moments.
When joy is all around.

Before memory returns.

Total loss …
and devastation …
take away any hope of a calm breath.

And the tears begin.

NAPOWRIMO DAY TWENTY THREE

Another day … and the pain … intense …
….. Does this ever end?
….. You must stop loving them, He is told.
….. You never stop loving them, She is told.

Seeking wisdom.

Seeking knowledge.

Seeking solace.

Finding none.

NAPOWRIMO DAY TWENTY FOUR

Tears … tears … and more tears …
….. tears to fill a river … tears to fill a heart
….. I must stop He thinks
….. I cannot stop She thinks

At a thought … tears.

At a sound … tears.

At a sight … tears.

At a smell … tears.

At a word … tears.

But no touch … no more.

 NAPOWRIMO DAY TWENTY FIVE

Memories … and tears … more memories … more tears …
….. when will one happen without the other?
….. He brushed away a tear before anyone could see.
….. She went to another room and let the tears flow.

Whether in public or in private.
Pain is not unique.

Or easily dismissed.
At least not right away.

Maybe tomorrow.
But not today.

NAPOWRIMO DAY TWENTY SIX

Maybe … If I do something else …
….. maybe the pain will be lessened …
….. He looked to family and friends.
….. She started to write.

Pain still hurts.

Whether busy or not.

Time takes time.

NAPOWRIMO DAY TWENTY SEVEN

It was an alternate reality … I lost my mind …
….. I just wasn’t myself …
….. It meant nothing … He trumpeted pompously.
….. Hell Hath No Fury … She growled quietly.

A shocked breath.

A mug.
On a desk.

A quote from Anne Lamott.
“If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.”

 NAPOWRIMO DAY TWENTY EIGHT

Closure … that most under-rated yet over-used word …
….. But how? But how?
….. Writing, said He … and wrote an email.
….. Writing, said She … and wrote a blog.

Words.

Hurting words.
Healing words.

The difference is in the choice.
The choice is in the author.

And, indeed, the pen is mightier than the sword …

NAPOWRIMO DAY TWENTY NINE

Waking … working … sitting … sleeping …
….. the thought runs rampant …
….. He wonders what She is doing.
….. She wonders what He is doing.

That’s the thing.
When it ends like it did.

There is always the wondering.
Always. Well almost.

There is never the knowing.
Never. Not really.

NAPOWRIMO DAY THIRTY

Our last chapter has not been written …
….. Not yet … not today … maybe not ever.
….. There will always be a part of my heart. said He.
….. Some things … don’t change, said She.

We can ignore them.
We can deny them.
We can distract ourselves from them.

We can make other choices and pretend.
We can tell lies to placate … or inflame … or resign.

But some things …

Some things are harder than others.
Some things don’t forget.
Some things don’t change.
Some things just fit together … in every way.

And that is the sheer Hell of it.

napowrimo

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