With all due apologies to Clement Clarke Moore …

Twas the Day Before Christmas
and all through the house
Only I was here stirring
since I drowned the mouse.

My stockings were packed
in my suitcase with care
It’s time to go off
and get help with my hair.

At least I had slept well
All snug in my bed
While visions of Snow Tires
Danced in my head.

So putting my jammies
aside of my hose,
I closed up the suitcase
and powdered my nose.

And off to the tire store …
… money in hand …
To make sure I’ll drive,
without crashing to land.

On Cooper, On Goodrich,
On Goodyear , On Fuzion,
On Firestone, On Bridgestone,
On Dunlop and Michelin.

I filled up my car full
of gas, gifts, and yet …
at a price that resembled
the National Debt …

To the top of the hill !
To the backs of the Mall !
Now drive away, drive away,
drive away all.

And they heard me proclaim,
‘ere I drove out of sight,
This Re-TIRE-ments great,
Lord, this snow is a fright!