Juno Is Checking Me Out Right Now?? Online Boomer Dating and Suspension Of Disbelief

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Suspension of Disbelief - Where you read a book, and you know that the heroine couldn’t possibly just run into the perfect hero, but you pretend that it could happen.

Online Boomer Dating - This bizarre dance that people of a certain age indulge in so as not to go to bars to meet people and look totally asinine. We look asinine online instead.

What Happened Today - The funniest most creative thing I’ve seen in a long time. Some alternate reality where the above two things collide … and made me smile. A lot.

So as always I checked my emails … and from one of the many dating sites out there, I saw a message. They do that sometimes when a person spends a lot of time reading your information. So … wait … Juno? Where have I heard that recently?

Juno is checking you out right now!

Juno 13740810993316226353
Below 32 / F / Single
Northeast

We’re letting you know because they’re a stone cold fox. You should check them out too. And a couple of things:

•  We’re smart about sending these: we’ll only ever send one
per winter storm that hits you
•  They’ll be blowing out of town next week, so act fast

Go get ‘em!

So, how could I resist??

I went out to read … and I thought I’d share with you. Yes, I know … you shouldn’t share *exactly* what a person puts out there exactly. But I’m thinking Juno won’t mind. They’ll be long gone before long I think.

So, without further ado …. JUNO …

First the profile pictures … the one you recognize … and the selfie … quite the blank stare, I’d say. No?

13740810993316226353 6115502591216541326

Then the profile: (Apocalyp Snow … ha ha ha)

My self-summary
I spend a lot of my time between New York and Boston.

What I’m doing with my life
Turning your grocery store into a zombie movie.

I’m really good at
Getting people to mash the words “snow” and “pocalypse” together.

The first things people usually notice about me
I’m whiter than an Oscar nominee.

Most favorite
Snow Day
Ice Age
Frozen
Snow White and the Huntsmen
Fargo
Apocalyp Snow
Least favorite
Wet Hot American Summer
Snowpiercer

The six things I could never do without
- Sustained winds
– Strong gusts
– Blowing or drifting snow
– Reduced visibility
– Lasting for 3 hours or more
– Arrested Development

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Wrapping you up in a fluffy white blanket and keeping you inside for days.

On a typical Friday night I am
Getting plowed

You should message me if
You have any extra D batteries?

And last but not least … here is how they answered various questions … after all they said this was someone who was a 0% Match and a 78% Enemy, right? And they are more aggressive, more kinky, more old-fashioned, less love-driven, less kind and less compassionate than others.

Here are the questions that were asked of Juno, and Juno’s answers:

How often do you ‘take it out’ on other people when you’re having a bad day? Always.

Do you litter?
Often

Do you pick up after yourself? Be honest.
No, my mom/roommate/partner mostly does it for me.

When you are angry or frustrated, do you ever throw, smash, kick, hit inanimate objects (non-living things)?
Yes, frequently

Do you attempt to conserve water, energy or other resources during your everyday life?
No, I don’t care

How often do you get angry?
Very often

Are you a cat person or a dog person?
Neither

Do you enjoy outdoor activities such as camping, hiking or fishing?
No

In a certain light, wouldn’t nuclear war be exciting?
Yes, it would.

Do you often find yourself worrying about things that you have no control over?
No I like to go with the wind

How long do your romantic relationships usually last?
0-6 months I’m usually not around long enough.

Could you date someone with no long-term goals?
Yes

Which word describes you better?
Intense

Are you attracted to dangerous situations?
Yes

Do you have names planned out for future children?
No. I let The Weather Channel name them.

Which superpower would you rather have?
Flight

Do you believe in the power of prayer?
No

Which of the following best describes your typical demeanor?
Meh. I have my ups and downs.

How often do you keep your promises?
Whenever possible I mean, they promise 20″-30″, but who’s really counting?

How often do you tweet?
Never But people tweet about me an awful lot!

Commitment to personal growth is:
Critically important. I strive to grow and grow

Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did!!

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